To Cook Or Not To Cook

For all those who know me,well you know that , I am at the mercy of my Gestapo trained cook. The man’s cruelty is legendary.His torture tactics vide his dishes evolves everyday. He even hums as he serves me.He has this  shifty,sulky look about him as he chops the vegetables,boils the milk,kneads the dough ,fries the potatoes etc. because he feels I don’t pay adequate homage to his imaginary formidable culinary skills.

Yet,because of my agonizingly tough work schedule, I choose to humor him and retain him,all the while gnashing my teeth.Well, actually he is not all that bad, 🙂 My dogs quite like him.Except when he slyly tries to watch Fashion TV instead of the K9 gang’s favored Cartoon network 🙂

But,  I wish I could cook more frequently, because I love cooking.Its one of my passions and without sounding immodest, I have been told that I am a good cook 🙂

It is considered fashionable by most women to proclaim daintily with a delicate shudder that they don’t know how to cook.Some women say it aggressively and believe it impinges on their independence, rights and freedom.Some women are actually disastrous cooks. Some are actually not disastrous ,but pretend to be so that nobody asks them to cook.

Barring the last category of women, who are actually master strategists and  hence have earned my admiration, I find the others to be utterly boring and ridiculous. While I am  totally against gender stereotyping,there is something very un-feminine about a  woman  not wanting to cook  because of preconceived notions of being hep,hip,hot,careerist,successful,diva etc.As for those women who can’t cook, well it points to their  abysmally low IQ levels.

For cooking, I believe, is  an art form. It is creative and therapeutic. Pardon me, for spouting creepy self-helpish  sounding words 🙂 I know, some of you must already be smirking with ”Yeah,yeah now she is going to talk about embracing the feminine spirit”. No, I won’t.Instead, I shall quote Barbara Kingsolver,let your mind conjure up the images and let the decision be yours .She says “Households that have lost the soul of cooking from their routines may not know what they are missing: the song of a stir-fry sizzle, the small talk of clinking measuring spoons, the yeasty scent of rising dough, the painting of flavors onto a pizza before it slides into the oven”. That creative and therapeutic enough,eh ?Cooking essentially also requires intelligence.The right flavors, the right colors, the right measures,the right temperature,the right mixes  etc require a person to think. It is as if the brain goes into overdrive analyzing a diverse array of inputs to synthesize and translate into the perfect output.Geeky, enough ?

 Lets hear what Robert Frost says “There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will’ 🙂 However chauvinistic might be this statement,there is undeniably a grain of truth.Cooking and food as relationship builders and sustainers. We just can’t wish it away! As a corollary, how people react to food is also a great barometer of their sensulaity. So the good Barbara nails it once again with her “Watching Italians eat (especially men, I have to say) is a form of tourism the books don’t tell you about. They close their eyes, raise their eyebrows into accent marks, and make sounds of acute appreciation. It’s fairly sexy. Of course I don’t know how these men behave at home, if they help with the cooking or are vain and boorish and mistreat their wives. I realized Mediterranean cultures have their issues. Fine, don’t burst my bubble. I didn’t want to marry these guys, I just wanted to watch”.

Morale of the blog post: Ladies, just once in a while, brush up on your Julia Child,slip into a  self-customized  Victoria’s Secret  apron  ( patenting this business idea ,please), light those  candles and incense ,chill that wine,play ambient grooves and bake,roast,stir and fry 🙂




One thought on “To Cook Or Not To Cook

  1. All fine, but I don’t agree with the remark that a person (woman, as you say though) who can’t cook is kinda low IQ! That’s pretty strong and has a ring of a needless bias! 🙂

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