(NB: This post needs to be read with my earlier post of November 21st, 2014, ‘Gotcha Dad’)
My immediate neighbors are very successful and rich people.The man’s old father, possibly aged 90 years, stays with them. He is confined to a wheel chair. Sometimes I see him from my first floor balcony, as he painfully wheels himself to his, to throw biscuits/bread etc to a really old ,blind dog, who sits on the lawn below.
The old father is taken for a ‘walk’ on his wheel chair by a servant boy, who is invariably chatting on his cell phone. He is not really bothered to connect with the old man.To him,its just a job/chore , naturally, for which he gets paid.This morning, I saw my smart, successful neighbors leave for their walk.No ‘Goodmorning’ or even a glance at the old father about to be wheeled out. I saw his face.There was such a longing on his face.It was so wistful. His expression said “Maybe, for just one day, son , please take me for a walk?”. I have found out that the senior dog in the lawn is the old man’s. He has been banished from the house because he is half-paralyzed and thus has urine incontinence.So much more convenient to just abandon him.It seems the old man protested weakly when the dog was kicked out, so my cook tells me.Delhi is getting really cold. Just saying.
The accidental sufi prays to God: Please never make me a coward like them. Never let that voice inside me die with relation to anybody I love.” There is a voice inside of you,That whispers all day long,”I feel this is right for me,I know that this is wrong.”No teacher, preacher, parent, friend Or wise man can decide,What’s right for you–just listen to,The voice that speaks inside” ( Shel Silverstein). And may that voice always lead me to do great/right things, sacrifice for those I love, even if I have to bleed.Let me realize that my blood does not matter, but their tears do.
You will remember my Dad’s dog Tommy? The pup died.My Dad called me up to tell me ,late this morning. His voice was strong as always.Only his daughter could have picked up the heartache in his voice.I read him a passage from John Grogan “Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day. It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them”. I couriered the book to him in the afternoon.I am terribly worried about him for I know such heartache.I am unable to be with him.
I will heal you, Dad. Only a wounded healer can heal. The accidental sufi is one.
And Dad, I love you. Because, you were/are/ will always be there for me.You would never leave me.
( I saw this movie ‘Interstellar’, yesterday. Amongst its many magnificently beautiful moments,was the father-daughter relationship)
The accidental sufi cries as she listens to this http://youtu.be/F3RYvO2X0Oo Life is so savagely beautiful.