Do you embarrassingly forget names ?

‘Lethonomia’, derived from Latin letho, ‘lie hidden, forget,’ and nomina, ‘name,’ refers to the inability to recall someone’s name.Many people suffer from this syndrome I am told, as well as the inability to remember faces.

I don’t. I never forget names and faces. I never forget anything, actually. Because, the accidental sufi is a Scorpio 😀

But, I have sufferd acutely once for forgetting a human name of a friend’s family but  remembering the family  pooch’s name! I googled for an appropriate term for this,in the desperate hope that someone also could be/is afflicted by this erm..strange disease. I didn’t find any.If anyone reading this blog is, please let me know and please empathize.

Or sympathize actually! Hear the horror story, now.

Sometime back, I was in Mumbai for some work, and bumped into a friend of mine after say 5/6 years. I promptly accepted his invitation for dinner because I remembered his wife to be a fabulous cook.I should have realized that something was terribly amiss  when I couldn’t  remember her name while telling him ” Tell ———, ah ——-,uh-uh,———- your wife to make that absolutely sensational ‘palak paneer’.Oh yeah, don’t forget the ‘rabdi’ too”. He beamed.I beamed.And that was that.

All through the drive to his place, I kept trying to remember his wife’s name.And just couldn’t! I remembered his son’s name. I remembered that they had then, a fantastic maid called ”Lakshmi”, whom I had tried ferociously hard to poach( I had failed). Of course, I remembered their pet dog’s name: a beautiful , chocolate Labrador, called ‘Hershey’.

As their house approached, I broke into a sweat.But the very dominant ‘fond-of-good-food’ gene, egged me on.I thought I would craftily wait for my friend to call out his wife’s name. Thus, mollified and courageous, I entered their house, armed with chocolates and flowers.

I am sure I didn’t behave normally. I felt that I was blabbering a bit incoherently,my eyes were too bright, I hugged the wife a lil too hard, even air kissed ( sic), dropped the flowers, hit  my leg against the centre table and almost displaced a huge laughing Buddha.If the family and their dog were a bit taken aback with my  ummm effusiveness, they didn’t show it.Rather, they went out of their way to  make me feel comfortable. I grabbed on to the dog for dear life and kept intoning ‘Hershey’,’Hershey’, ‘Hershey” ad nauseam…pathetically trying to cover up my sign-language communication with the wife.

I also desperately waited for my friend to call out ,by name, to his wife as she bustled prettily from the kitchen to the living room.But, the bastard either out of sheer, pure love or 14 years of marital bullying ,referred to her as ‘Darling’, ‘Honey’,’Jaan’, ‘meri biwi’! I felt martyred! The laughing Buddha on the center table seemed to be laughing more hard at me! I started feeling delusional and the delicious food  actually started having having a hallucinogenic effect on me, I tells ya guys!

Happy to report that the accidental sufi kinda escaped with no major damage.Just that I kept saying ‘you have such a wonderful wife’ quite a number of times to my friend…which I felt made his wife suspicious about him 😀 Ya know, she must have thought that he could have put me up to it to cover up for a possible extra-marital affair with his secretary 😀 Wives are always suspicious if the husband has a female secretary I have seen 😀

It is only after I received one of those  annoying bulk texts, sent on the umpteenth number of ‘special days’ celebrated by humans as a mark of their miserable existence on earth and which read somewhat like ” Dear Sir/Madam, Our best wishes for National Without Underwear Day! May you shine and lights never dim!May you live long without underwear! Best wishes, Husband’s name & Wife’s name & sometimes Kids’ names”, that I recalled the wife’s name 😀

 Dave Barry says “As you get older; you’ve probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You’ll be talking with somebody at a party, and you’ll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t remember his or her name. This can be very embarrassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse”. I wonder what he is going to make out of my story 😀

There was this huge  Bollywood hit of Aamir Khan’s sometime back. He suffers from ‘short term memory loss”. My  wicked nephew referred to me as ‘Ghajini’ when I told him this story. Here’s a song from the movie I like, which makes  my guy tell me that I am  disgustingly mushy 😀

Oh I think, girlfriends/wives/partners etc shouldn’t really worry about female secretaries. They are women too and thus terribly smart 😀 Here read : “A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.And smirked when computer flashed back :PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH’

That’s all for today, guys 🙂

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