Dealing With A Flirt

Well, hello blogworld and the rest of the world! How has life been treating you ? The accidental sufi is back after a short break, that was filled with fun, warmth , love and laughter. One heartbeat of her’s, who stays in London ,is currently here. The other heartbeat of her’s , who also stays in London, is going to be here soon. Mazeltov!

Alright, kicking off this blogpost with two truths about myself:

  1. I hate oats/oatmeal. I see absolutely no reason for its existence here on earth. They fill me with dread and terror.
  2.  I don’t really flirt. I mean, I am kinda ‘direct action’ person and if I like you, I will just go up to you and say so. I , thus , hate it if people try to flirt with me, especially if I am not interested in them. And more especially, if it is early in the morning!

So, my story today is about oats and a flirt.

 I boarded an early morning flight today and was sitting in the window seat of the first row. The middle seat stayed empty and the aisle seat was  soon occupied by a middle aged man. He was quite nattily turned out at that unearthly hour, was good looking, had a hyena type of laugh and wished me ‘Goodmorning’ with such enthusiasm that I flinched and my eyes shut automatically. That is defense mechanism working ,say ,like a turtle withdrawing into its shell.

The pretty air hostess arrived with the munchies and snacks on sale . It was an Indigo flight, where you need to buy the stuff.

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Copax: I am so confused! Will you help me choose ?

Me : Pardon me ?

Copax: *hyena laugh* Should I have the ‘Chicken Junglee’ sandwich or ‘Chicken Rosemary Sub’ ?

Me: *very  poisonously sweet voice* No, no please have the oats! So yummy!

He wasn’t convinced , but had dug his own grave. So he grudgingly ordered oats and glared suspiciously at my Coke Zero, cake, sandwich and potato sticks tin, which I ordered after he had paid for his meal. The oats looked like monkey crap and possibly tasted so, I thought , judging by the man’s expression.

Copax: So , what are you ?

Me: A human female.

Copax: * hyena laugh* No, no..hehehe…I mean what do you do ?

Me: Oh, I am the CEO of a hugely successful company which sells tampons.

A troubled frown started on his face, but I guess the lecherous DNA was too strong for him to back off.

Copax: I thought I had seen you somewhere earlier ?

Me: *feral smile* Maybe one of my sisters ? We all look alike. My parents kept trying for a son, but landed up with 36 daughters! One of us is there in each  of the 29 states and 7 union territories here in India.

The troubled frown on his face  grew bigger. I guess he wasn’t prepared for such hostility. Whereas, I was annoyed at the presumptuous manner at which he thought he could flirt openly because I happened to be travelling alone. I ranted about this to a male friend here and was furious at his amused  words :’Oh come come, the poor guy was just being appreciative’. I seethed at this attitude which I guess most men would tote! I really hope I am wrong about this, but experience proves me wrong! On behalf of any lady reading this, I wished my friend ,Kabir, that he should ,hopefully be stalked by a serial killer nymphomaniac. Let’s just see how unbelievably this story ended.

Copax:*eyeing my Che Guevara laptop bag* Who is this man ? Your favorite filmstar ?

Me:Do you mind please ? I am trying to sleep.

Copax: Oh, ok,ok. Can I borrow your book to browse ? ( “Meditations’ by Marcus Aurellius)

Me:* hissed* No. That requires an organ , entirely different from your favorite one, it seems.

Many times I have thought of what is the best way to  ward off unwanted male attention ?So many women are troubled by it!My experience has taught me to  believe in what Maya Angelou said  “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style”.  In the end, confidence, capability and  not waiting to be rescued by a woodsman or a hunter is the key , non ?

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