Forty & Mushy on Valentine’s Day

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 Valentine Day this year was truly a horror. Not only was the beloved not around, I was forced to sit through a dinner with people I normally run a mile from!  I also felt miserable because I couldn’t meet a friend, who is very sick with cancer, before he left for New York. Amends to my tragic situation were made at a later hours party with my beautifully insane friends though and I got back in the wee hours of dawn, all the time missing my guy…and thanking the Lord, that he is in my life.

So I wrote him a letter of thanks. Last year on Valentine’s day, I had written a letter to my guy, Adi, and published it on my blog. Here it is :<a href=”https://theaccidentalsufi.wordpress.com/2015/02/13/a-love-letter/&#8221; target=”_hplink”>https://theaccidentalsufi.wordpress.com/2015/02/13/a-love-letter/</a&gt;

It was not only my first ‘love’ letter ( we need to ignore the embarrassingly gushy teen missives to Amitabh Bachhan, Imran Khan, Michael Hutchence, Eddie Van Halen etc ), it was also the day I acknowledged to the world and most importantly to myself, the depth of my emotion for a man who is my best friend since two decades. Yes, I guess I wrote my first love letter when I am very much in my middle age! To cut a long story short, here we are both, after going through various loves and half loves, realizing the truth of Jonathan Safran Foer’s words “I love you also means I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.

It is not that love takes a back seat on other days, but February 14 th , does have a charm of its own, despite the rant of the baiters and haters. What can be wrong about a day which celebrates love and romance ? C’mon, we belong to the land of Lord Krishna and Radha. And Vatsyana too! So there I was on Valentine’s day eve , middle-aged, mushy , most certainly  uh horny, thinking about my man, who unfortunately is in London.  Reports did reach me that the good man celebrated lovers’ day by falling into a vat of Scotch.

But let me tell you the reasons why I love him deeply, truly, madly….think I beat Eilzabeth Barret Browning “s ” How Do I Love Thee” 🙂

Dear Adi,
Thank you for……
1. For telling me that you love me more than rock n roll.

2. For never letting me win at chess and not feeling bad about it.

3. For waking me up on a cold December midnight in 2011, to ask me “If I say your voice is an amber waterfall in which I yearn to burn each day, if you eat my mouth like a mystical rose with powers of healing and damnation, If I confess that your body is the only civilization I long to experience… would it mean that we are close to knowing something about love?”  { Aberjhani, ”Visions of a Skylark Dressed in Black ‘ )

4. For holding me when I cry as I read.

5. For loving my family and my dogs.

6. For painting my toe nails.

7. For always answering ‘Baby, its sexy’ to my eternal ‘Does my arse look fat ?”.

8. For opening up and allowing me to curl up inside your rawness.

9. For kissing me on my forehead as I wept at Jim Morrison’s grave @Père Lachaise cemetery, Paris.

10. For telling me you will still want to caress my skin at 60.

11. For having the guts to admit that you hate my favorite author, Vladimir Nabokov.

12. For quoting Neruda to me.

13. For siding with my beloved sister against me all the time.

14. For, making love and pasta, sensationally and ready to do both 24 x7.

15. For not hating the great love of my life, the divine Jimmy Page.

16. For having separate book shelves and tooth brushes.

17. For agreeing that in the next stage of evolution men should get the periods and women need not squat to pee.

18. For believing that the scars on my heart and soul hinge with that of yours.

19. For knowing my mind as you know where the eleven moles on my body are.

20. For letting me be ‘ME’, never insisting on ‘US’.

Perhaps, next Valentine day, we shall seal our love with the epitome of all bonds and connections of the soul ? Ooh yes, we shall drink from a single coconut with two straws on the beach. That will be a first for me. I trust you haven’t had this epic togetherness moment as yet too.

I remain in love forever with the wild beauty of your heart and the beauty of your wild heart.

Happy Valentine’s Day! ( I hope you had a bloody awesome hangover too)

Yours as always,
Aparajita.

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